Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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