so explain again why im purple
no
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
