i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
