It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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