Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
please don't ironically join a cult
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