i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
