glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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