i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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