love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize