the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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