obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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