That's when you crack a 10am beer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
