If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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