I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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