Someone shit on the floor
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Quick, to the slutcave!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
