remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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