Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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