that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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