This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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