I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
