angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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