yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
