I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
