Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
