Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize