i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
