Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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