I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
