Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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