I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
