I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
