you win again, gameday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
