I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
