While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...