What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time