Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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