I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
