Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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