chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
