marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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