ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize