these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
