in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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