I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
