never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
