I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
