Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize