It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
