just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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