We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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