u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
