theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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