real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this boner is exhausting
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
