guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
