You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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