I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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