i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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